In a coaching session with a client yesterday, we talked about the word ‘sonder’. It is one of my favourite words.
Sonder means ‘the realisation that every person you see has a life as complex and vivid as your own’. It’s from the Dictionary of Obsure Sorrows, which was created to capture emotions that people don’t have a word for yet.
I find this perspective so helpful – considering the people you engage with, the people you work with, perhaps don’t get along with or fight with even, as people who have a life as complex and vivid as yours….
Think of all the things that are going on in your life right now, combined with all your life experiences, your beliefs, your biases and assumptions, your plans, hopes and aspirations, as one massive bubble that you move around in. And see everyone around you moving around in their own massive bubble, that is at least as big and complex as your own.
How might that help you see their perspective, appreciate where they are coming from, understand what they need? Meet them where they are, find a middle ground or purposefully decide to hold your own?
As I am sitting here at my desk writing this post, my cat Barrington is staring at me. I wonder whether his life is as complex and as vivid as mine… Or is he just plotting to kill me?
