Reflection exercise: checking in with your 80-year-old self
An exercise that most coaches and anyone who’s had any coaching may well be familiar with. It can be incredibly helpful when facing a dilemma, a difficult decision, or when you feel overwhelmed with what is happening. It is a useful reflection tool to work through with your coach in a coaching session and also works very well as a reflection exercise you do on your own.
I do this exercise with many of my clients and also check in with my 80-year-old self myself on a regular basis. I find that she often gives me sound advice and helps me put things in perspective. Plus, this AI-generated (and granted, problably very flattering…) 80-year-old version of me seems to look a lot like my mum, and I think she is beautiful, so I’ll take that!
The structure below may provide a useful guide through this reflection:
Listen to your 80-year-old self
Part 1:
Take a moment to sit back in a quiet space that allows you to let your mind wander and create a vision in your head. Now, imagine yourself when you are 80 years old (or pick any other future age that seems appropriate for you) and answer the following questions:
- Where are you?
- What is around you?
- How do you sound?
- What do you look like?
- Who is around you?
- How do you behave towards them?
- How do they behave towards you?
- Picturing yourself in that moment, what you hear, see, smell, feel?
- What life and/or career is 80-year-old you looking back on?
- What advice is 80-year-old you giving you?
- What encouragement does 80-year-old you give you?
- Connect with all the wisdom and perspectives you have in that moment
- Notice any sense of peace, panic, pride, regret, gratitude, content
Part 2:
Reflect on this visualisation and what specifically you noticed, what jumped out and what surprised you. Now, think about your current situation and ask yourself:
- What am I doing now that helps me get to where my 80-year-old self wants to be?
- What else should I be doing to help me fulfil that picture?
- What (or who) am I worrying about now that is completely irrelevant to 80-year-old me?
- What (or who) am I not paying attention to that I should?
- What changes do I need to make to start building the life/career that 80-year-old-me wants to look back on?